QUAIL MUTTERINGS #54. Goodbye, Aloha, and Hello Again (March 2019)

Not that Southern California ever gets that cold, really, but it does to me. I’m always wandering around wearing a flannel shirt as a second layer and often multiple others as well. After much deliberation over cost, time away, and pre-tax-time preparation I convinced Kent to escape to Hawaii with me. We prefer visiting less touristy areas and like to stay in out-of-the-way, funky places. Fortunately, for me, he enjoys the challenge of slogging through endless details on the internet. I do not. I’d rather pull weeds or repair water lines than spend hours in front of a computer screen. Anything to avoid the inevitable neck and shoulder pain that comes with that unpleasant activity, and, of course, the resulting headache from the unnatural glare.

Alright, enough whining. Jump ahead to descending the steps from the airplane, walking across the tarmac, and catching a shuttle for the rental car office.

The jovial bald man behind the counter looked up our information. “Well, we don’t have any of the compacts in right now, like the one you reserved. But you’re in luck.” He flashed us one of those car salesman type smiles. “You get a free upgrade to one of our sporty Mustangs! You’re gonna love it!” And another salesmanship grin.

Kent looked over at me and replied, “Well, we’re not really car people. It doesn’t matter that much to us.”

The poor guy didn’t quite know how to respond so he pushed the paperwork toward us with a little gadget. “And it doesn’t even need a key.”

I stared at the little flat object and asked, “What do we do with this?”

“Oh, it’s easy-peasy. You just step on the accelerator and it goes.”

Kent and I exchanged looks. “How do you turn it off? Or lock it?”

“Oh, you’ll figure it out,” he assured us. “I just know you’re gonna love it.”

“Do you think you could perhaps give us a lesson on how to operate it?”

“Let me help these next folks while you guys go out and play around with it and then if you still have questions then I’ll come on out.”

Kent and I dragged our suitcases and backpacks out to the white convertible and after finally figuring out how to open the trunk we loaded our luggage. We would have liked to be able to put some things on the back seat, but there were no back doors. I realized how labor intensive getting our stuff in and out of the back would be when we’d have to adjust and readjust the front seats every time we needed something. Also, not a feel good option for our old, tired spines either. I played with the windows and soon discovered that the front and back windows didn’t quite line up, no matter what order you opened and closed them. Hello – it’s rainy, very rainy, on the east side of the island and I didn’t want to get dinged for a water damaged rental car.

So, Kent went back in to tell the man that we didn’t actually love the car after all. And what do you know, but a small, four-door compact (like we’d originally requested) miraculously became available. Fancy that. It even had a real key! We finally drove out of the lot, sure that they were all laughing at us old duffers for turning down a Mustang convertible for a little tin can. But we were just happy as punch.

Hawaii is a beautiful place, especially where it hasn’t been built up yet. We stayed in a couple rustic tiny houses with no indoor toilets. Going out to the outhouse was fine for us. I grew up with that and we still have one up the hill for when we’re out doing chores. There’s certainly a whole lot less water waste with those. Hiking the rugged trails, lolling around the beaches (black, white, grey, and green sand varieties), and buying food at the local farmers markets provided a fun getaway for us. Wouldn’t it be nice to visit some tropical island every January?

Light rains began here in Ramona as more precipitation fell there. But once home, we got hammered by the biggest rainstorm in years. Welcome to trenching and soggy boots! But honestly, it is always nice to get back home. I love seeing the creek run, and listening to the frogs at night, and watching the birds prepare for spring. If nothing else, traveling makes me appreciate home more, seeing it through renewed eyes. Isn’t that called freshness of appreciation? I remember that term from a college psychology course and think of it often. It’s such a wonderful way to look at things. We don’t always have to get away to experience this. Sometimes all it takes is the little things. Like unexpectedly connecting with some stranger and reaffirming that you’re not alone. Or walking out your door and witnessing a spectacular sunrise. Perhaps reading a passage in a book or magazine that resonates with you. Anyway, enough of my rambling for now – awaken to your own freshness of appreciation, wherever or whenever it arrives.

Chi Varnado is working on a new MG/YA series about a dance studio. Her memoir, A CANYON TRILOGY: Life Before, During and After the Cedar Fire and her children’s book, The Tale of Broken Tail are available on www.amazon.com. Her collection of essays, Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com. You can follow us on www.Facebook.com/gnomewoodcanyon.

QUAIL MUTTERINGS #52. Tag, You’re It! (October 2018)

Is camaraderie important to you? Does it feel good to be part of a supportive community? Are you happier doing things with someone else sometimes, and not always doing them alone? I know I am – and I’m pretty sure that most of us feel that way.

Recently I was invited to a six-year-old’s birthday party. Nothing fancy – just good wholesome fun. All the kids got into playing with the multitude of toys. But what struck me most was that a group formed as a result of each one being totally present in the moment with an open and available attitude. Without any direction or planning from the adults, their excitement sparked into action. I watched them run barefoot in the dirt with wild abandon – like I used to do as a youngster. They raced around the old dirt road loop, part of it hidden behind brush. Around and around and around they went, stopping only to pant hard, wipe their sweaty foreheads or laugh about who ran the fastest on the last lap – or what happened at some point in between.

It got me thinking about how rare these simple activities are becoming in our society. Most children do not go outside every day to entertain themselves. I think it’s a healthy and necessary part of growing up. Besides being out in nature – and we all know that’s good for us – kids don’t get bored as often because they learn how to find things to do. It’s not rocket science, but it seems that a lot of children have lost this simple skill. If they are always on their device or constantly being shuttled from one supervised activity to the next, how can we expect them to be self-motivated? They don’t know how!

Okay, so how does this relate to what I said about community? I believe they are directly related. A lot of us feel lonelier and more disconnected now than ever before. But these days we are connected all the time through the web: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Text, Email… How many “friends” do you have? Really? That’s nice. We REALLY need those REAL connections with REAL people. It’s not just millennials and the younger set who have been consumed by social media. It’s us baby boomers as well. I feel like it’s the current connections that are eating up our time and leaving us severely socially deprived. I step back from connecting on a regular basis because it depresses me. We’re so alone – is there anybody really out there?

It’s no wonder that intentional communities are sprouting up all around the world. Each tends to focus on a desired way of life. Some have an environmental awareness, other’s a local food movement, or tiny houses… But they all form from our basic need of community. Working together through common interests fosters the feeling of being truly connected. But there’s a fine line between true communal living and passive communal presence. In my opinion, one of the reasons that the old hippie communes didn’t work was because one or two people got stuck with all the work. If you are the person who always has to initiate all the action and follow through on all the details, then of course you’ll burn out. With no one stepping up to the plate – the community fizzles.

I try to arrange gatherings on a semi-regular basis: hikes, farm to table garden potlucks, occasional wine Wednesdays for us crones, family picnics, drumming circles, outings… At our last family gathering, my son-in-law told me how good it felt to be together and to simply hang out; that it doesn’t take a big planned event – just chips and conversation can suffice. In this time when everyone is so falsely connected that we feel lonelier than ever, it’s essential that we wake up before it’s too late. Step up once in a while – please – and do your part to gather others into your sphere (whatever it might be) and welcome and encourage them into belonging. Even if you’re not the organizer, at least try to show up (physically and emotionally) and show your appreciation. Why not try to take on a part of it yourself? You might be glad you did.

Our family gathering Mt. Laguna, September 2018 – Photo by Sean McCormac

Chi Varnado is working on a new MG novel about a dance studio. Her memoir, A CANYON TRILOGY: Life Before, During and After the Cedar Fire and her children’s book, The Tale of Broken Tail are available on www.amazon.com. Her collection of essays, Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com. You can follow us on www.Facebook.com/gnomewoodcanyon.

QUAIL MUTTERINGS #39. Isn’t February Too Early For Spring? (February 6, 2016)

QUAIL MUTTERINGS #39.  Isn’t February Too Early For Spring? (February 6, 2016)

What? Who says it’s Spring? The birds do! That’s who. Every morning the canyon wrens are singing merrily all around the house. Their melodic, descending trills provide the sound track of a new day dawning. The house finches dart back and forth between their numerous nests in the nooks and crannies of our log cabin and the budding bushes in the yard. I’ve noticed that the squirrels have also decided that winter is over and clamber up and down the granite boulders and in and out of holes in the ground. Life is good.
The other morning Kent and I drove up the hill to get a better view of the planetary alignment, only visible in the night sky shortly before dawn. We got out of the car and stared up at the sky. I stood in awe of how miniscule we really are. These five planets, perfectly aligned, are so far away, but yet are some of our closest neighbors. We are only one of so many planets. The differences and difficulties that we have here, with each other and with different global communities, seem absurd. Don’t they? None of that really matters in the big scheme of things. Gazing upward from the east toward the west there they shimmered. Mercury was the least visible being the closest to the horizon. Venus, a big bright beacon. Saturn. Mars, emitting a reddish hue. And Jupiter, the closest to setting but still hours away. We returned to the morning cacophony surrounding our front porch.
Only last week we had that big winter storm with the crazy winds that knocked out our power for eight hours. I dug out candles, lighting them in groups to provide more light in needed areas. Luckily, I’d made soup the day before and there were enough leftovers to heat on the stove for dinner. A quick open and close of the refrigerator was all that was needed to remove the pot. Not a good idea to let out that ever-so-valuable frigidness necessary to keep our food edible. Then we moved the candles to the living room where a fire burned in the fireplace emitting a soft glow which added to the limited light available. There’s nothing like a power outage to help us put on the brakes and take the time for relaxed conversation. I welcomed and relished the resulting magical ambiance.
A day later, work on our rock tiny house resumed. The building is evolving, taking on a persona of its own. Whereas most construction follows a set of plans and dictated schedules this thing suggests we stop and ponder. That’s fine with me. It’s one of my favorite things to do. It’s also the reason why I’ve changed my mind, more than once, over the desired end product. It’s gone from being just a simple bathroom/kitchenette to adding a small bedroom on the side. The whole thing is less than two-hundred square feet and occupies the site, and one of the rock walls, of my grandmother’s previous abode. The one that the Cedar Fire took away. Now more rock scavenging is needed. We scour the mountainsides for more of “my beauties” as I call them. A friend who’s doing the construction probably worries that I’ll change my mind again, but I am trying to work with each phase that it has progressed to. Sometimes it’s as if the canyon itself is providing the instructions.
These recent evenings, on my nightly excursions outside to whisper my gratitude, I’m enraptured by the eclectic symphony coming from down the creek, toward the pond further down the valley. The bullfrogs’ rhythmic bass, the toads’ melodic counterpoint and the crickets’ steady pulse provide the backdrop for a lone Poorwill singing further up the ridge. I can also hear a Great Horned Owl and a Western Screech-Owl on opposite walls of the canyon. The boulders shine magically in the moonlight and I am, once again, filled with reverence for all this life around me and my place in it.
Tomorrow will dawn a new day in which the Dance Centre will rehearse for our upcoming story ballet: A Star Studded Tea Party. It’s not a traditional tale, but one that is evolving. Similar to the way that the tiny house has come along. Between the advanced dancers and me collaborating together, it’s grown into a birthday party for Alice (in Wonderland). The Cheshire cat, the white rabbit, and the mad hatter all show up. And, of course, the big bad wolf. Why not, right? If you’d like to check out our twisty tale then come on over to the Performing Arts Center at Olive Peirce Middle School at 6:30 PM on April 15th. Don’t worry. The date’s easy to remember. It’s tax day!

Chi Varnado is a contributing writer for The San Diego Reader. Her memoir, A CANYON TRILOGY: Life Before, During and After the Cedar Fire and her children’s book, The Tale of Broken Tail are available on www.amazon.com. Chi directs the Ramona Dance Centre. Her collection of essays, Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com.