QUAIL MUTTERINGS #35. New Beginnings (May 2015)

QUAIL MUTTERINGS #35.  New Beginnings (May 2015)

Once again I find myself both proud and concerned. Four years ago our son, Chance, graduated from high school and began his university career. And now, this week, he is graduating from CSU Chico with an engineering degree. Kent and I have experienced the empty nest syndrome while at the same time have gone through the emotional yo-yo of his comings and goings during university breaks. I’ve spoken to other mothers who concur about this phenomenon. Just when you get used to them being gone, they’re back again. And when they leave it can’t help but tug at the heart strings again. It’s not easy. I suppose it’s a process in degrees of letting go. Of course, it’s never complete. We will always be their mom or dad.
This spring, in our canyon, the cacophony of avian fledging is everywhere. House finches are nesting all over the cabin under eaves or on top of protruding logs. Red-Shouldered Hawks call incessantly from above the tree tops as the Cooper’s Hawks careen through the canopy uttering their staccato warnings. Sometimes I hear a juvenile Red-Tail Hawk with its unmistakable pleadings. From pre-dawn to after dusk I love being privy to the symphony that this community of ours provides. California Towhees hop around as Canyon Wrens call their descending trills and quail mutter as they scuttle through the underbrush. After night falls, the Poorwills and owls make up the music of the canyon. Abundant plant and animal life celebrate this time of year.
Chance’s fledging now assumes the role of trying to find employment in this uncertain job market. Yes I’m concerned, but hopeful, for his own spreading of the wings. Just as the young birds take flight for the first time and begin to find their own food, Chance will be attempting his version of this. A mother can wish all she wants for her child to find his path and launch, but ultimately it’s up to the fledgling to take those first flights alone. New beginnings can be both scary and exciting.
As for my new start, I’ve launched a home business. One of the upstairs bedrooms in our log cabin is now available for guests through www.airbnb.com. Our rural lifestyle in this beautiful canyon can provide respite for those seeking a natural sanctuary. I’m beginning to feel like my new purpose in life is to share the natural world and a different pace of life with others who want to experience a more organic lifestyle. They could hike the mountain; lay in a hammock in the creekbed; read, write or bird watch from a rocking chair on the front porch; bicycle down Mussey Grade or simply breathe fresh, clean country air. This new endeavor feels right as if this is my true calling.
In two days, Kent and I will take leave of our paradise and head for Northern California to see Chance graduate with a BS in mechanical engineering. We’re towing our itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny 1970 camping trailer so we can take our own food and save on motel bills. We’ll be gone ten days in order for our son to take an engineering certificate exam in Redding, six days after graduation, and then move him back home. There may not be much rest in store for him as he continues his job search. As the buzzards in the eucalyptus grove display their wings to the morning sun with the luxury of time, he’ll be hunting, networking and channeling his energy toward a productive goal. As his mom, I want him to launch successfully even though I know his comings and goings will put me back on that emotional roller coaster. I’ll remind myself to take a deep breath and continue to breathe. So, here’s to graduations, fledgings and successful launchings. Just remember: smile and breathe.

Chi Varnado is a contributing writer for The San Diego Reader. Her memoir, A CANYON TRILOGY: Life Before, During and After the Cedar Fire and her children’s book, The Tale of Broken Tail are available on www.amazon.com. Chi directs the Ramona Dance Centre. Her collection of essays, Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com.

QUAIL MUTTERINGS #28. Story Ballets, Graduations and Spring Cleaning (May 1, 2014)

QUAIL MUTTERINGS #28.  Story Ballets, Graduations and Spring Cleaning (May 1, 2014)

Story ballets, graduations, gardening and spring cleaning are my main focuses this time of year. There seems to be no chance for rest and relaxation when so many activities beckon. When the choreography is finished there are rehearsals. After cleaning the porch the windows need attention and of course – the weed whacking is never ending. The gardens must be planted, tended and watered. And then, the graduations…
This year, my most advanced ballet students were interested in choosing their own roles so instead of a single ‘Story Ballet’ we’re doing excerpts from three different fairy tales: Snow White, Beauty and the Beast and Sleeping Beauty. No one is left out of these. The younger dancers and gymnasts play supporting roles such as Snow White’s dwarfs, Beauty’s pestiferous sheep, the beast’s tormentors, and the maidens of Sleeping Beauty’s court. I love having all the classes participating in this ‘Literature in Action’ and thus part of a bigger creative project. The younger students try harder as they watch the older, more seasoned dancers. The alternative would be to put on just another recital, but the thought of that simply curdles my stomach. Yes, it’s true that putting together a cohesive, multi-dimensional piece of work is much more time consuming and labor intensive, but I feel that it’s much more rewarding to all involved, including the grateful audience.
During Spring Break, before visiting our son at Chico State for a couple days, we planted a variety of vegetables in the gardens. We have three completely closed in spaces in order to keep out the squirrels, rodents and birds; hoping to retain some of the produce for ourselves. This is an ongoing effort since these skillful little engineers seem to take pride in outsmarting us ‘evolved species’ and are constantly creating new methods of no-handprint breaking-and-entering and stealthy stealing. As Ramonans, we are fortunate, though, to have a Farmer’s Market and numerous farm stands in our community. I picked up beautiful tomato and cucumber plants, among others, from Connelly Farms to transplant in our garden beds. The horses, goats and compost heap provide our fertilizer and mulching needs. My morning green smoothies are supplemented from our own year-round Swiss chard and kale while the multitude of sorrel zings up our salads. Ahhh, the good life.
On May 10th, the day after the dance concert, we’re hosting the next meeting of our book club. I’ve heard that it’s one of the oldest, if not the oldest, ongoing one of its kind in Southern California – thirty some-odd years! The book we will be discussing is The End of Your Life Book Club by Will Schwalbe. Kent and I recommended it. The author and his dying mother form their own impromptu book club and have their discussions during her chemotherapy sessions. Several books are brought into the story which sound interesting. I’ve read a couple of them including Coming to Our Senses by Jon Kabat-Zinn, and discovered many inspiring nuggets within its pages. Since our house is a bit small we plan on dining and discussing out on the front porch.
On the following Saturday our oldest daughter, Jessie, will be graduating with her master’s degree in applied linguistics from SDSU – which happens to be my alma mater as well as my mom’s and grandmother’s. We will also be hosting a celebration for her. Out on the front porch, of course. The last big shindig here was Jessie and Sean’s wedding almost a year ago. What a beautiful, memorable day that country wedding was… As I start to lose myself in reverie I realize that I must snap back into the present. These things I was referring to earlier haven’t happened yet. I better get busy.

Chi Varnado is the author of two books. Her memoir, A CANYON TRILOGY: Life Before, During and After the Cedar Fire; and her children’s book, The Tale of Broken Tail, are both available from www.amazon.com. Chi directs The Ramona Dance Centre: www.ramonadancecentre.com. A sampling of Chi’s Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com.