What does it mean to “fall from grace”? I suppose it depends on how you define ‘grace’, as it can have multiple meanings. It can simply refer to a pleasing or favorable quality; or to God’s love; to elegance of movement; a prayer before a meal; a period of time granted to fulfill an obligation… So you see, there are many ways to fall from grace.

            Losing status, respect, or prestige injures our egos. Losing a job, a relationship, an important contract, or failing a test can leave us crushed and feeling sorry for ourselves, but this can pass if we allow it. I think that can be the hard part. We tend to get stuck in how we feel about something, then find it difficult to let it go (as Elsa sings) and move on to more positive thoughts and feelings. After all, our thoughts really do dictate our feelings. It’s all up to us to rise from within. Nobody else can do it for us—each one of us has to take on the work. I realize for some this can be harder than for others, but the same still holds true.

            I suppose I fell from grace after dissolving my Dance Centre, ending thirty-seven years of teaching ballet and gymnastics. As I age, my once graceful body and limbs feel less and less so. It’s quite humbling, but I’m continually trying to make peace with it. And I guess another time I fell from grace was when I decided to major in Dance at SDSU instead of math or science like my parents expected. The result being that I had to fund most of college myself. But probably the worst kind of descent is when we disappoint ourselves and know that we haven’t done our best.

            The times I went against my better judgement and did something that someone else assured me was fine, left me kicking myself for not trusting or not following my own intuition. Like when my husband assured me that the snake right outside the door was a rattler, so the poor gopher snake died needlessly. Or when he convinced me that his ‘hairbrained’ route somewhere ended up making us over two hours late. Poor guy, I’ll try not to pick on him. Sometimes it can be uncomfortable to not go along with someone else’s idea, but important to do so anyway. Better to stop and think before reacting, then there’ll be less to feel guilty about.

            Holding grudges is another one of those things. They don’t do us any good. They often don’t make any difference to the other person. Therefore, the only one they have any real effect on is ourselves. It brings our energy down and we fall from grace—over and over and over again. Every time we think about it.

            In a lot of ways, animals can be light years ahead of us, at least in the way some of them handle their outward emotions. I remember when my mom was nearing the end of her life and confined to her bed. Referring to her dogs, she often commented how much better they were at being in the present moment. “They’re so accepting of whatever is.” She was wishing she could be more like that and not have such fear. Don’t we all?   

            To me, it seems that living with grace goes hand-in-hand with being grateful—all the time. It elevates the mood and makes us and those around us smile. I’m trying to hold this in mind as much as I can, especially when things happening around me make that difficult. Stop, take a deep breath, remember the things I have to be grateful for, and elevate myself above whatever situation is pulling me down. Anyway, that’s what I’m striving for. Does anyone want to join in?

Chi Varnado has published six books including fiction, nonfiction and children’s books. They are available on www.amazon.com. Her collection of essays, Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com or www.dancecentrepresents.com. She is available to adults and children for fun tutoring in writing. 

           Does it seem to anyone else that rats and mice are everywhere now? In our sheds, garages, under car hoods, inside our vehicles, and yes—in our house. I suppose it’s not that surprising considering we live out in the country. A while back I started to move a bird house fastened to the top of a 4×4 beam. Upon tipping it I let out a shriek even though I’m far less squeamish than most. A tumble of young hairless rats fell out onto my chest and grossed me out, more than a little. Not what I was expecting at all. 

            Cute little mice often join us when we watch Netflix in the evenings. They scurry over the mantle and around the rock hearth, sometimes pausing to stare at us. “What?” I ask. I feel bad, but occasionally we do catch them in traps. However, mostly they just keep outsmarting us. After all, we are a relatively young species compared to them.

            I remember many decades ago, when my sister still lived in the canyon. She’d set live traps and then release the rats down at the end of the dirt road on her way to work. Later, when I drove out to take kids to school, I’d often see them running back up the road—heading to home sweet home. Those ridiculous, yet hilarious sightings happened multiple times.

            Some people keep rats for pets. We had an albino one when we were kids. And a guinea pig, chickens, ducks, finches, a goose, rabbits, donkeys, pigs, a cow, goats, horses… Our family consisted of a menagerie of species. I suppose it was part of our training to be more inclusive.

            Kent just came back inside after digging trenches along the side of our dirt road in the pouring rain. He looks like a drowned rat. Zelda helped, but the wet dog is out on the porch—for now. I’m sure all the rats and mice are finding nice cozy places to hunker down, chew wires, and make messes in what we’d like to claim as our own. So much for that concept.

            But there’s another kind of rat. A very dirty one indeed. This one is a neighbor who is actually a pack rat. His entire yard is filled with stuff—a total junkyard. The once beautiful piece of property has become a complete eyesore and environmental disaster. I think y’all could definitely smell a rat there. How do you rat on someone like that? Some things really can make my blood boil. But enough on that.

And then there are those desert rats who come up with some interesting shenanigans to pass the time. Like shining a laser beam at the mountain behind the campground or designing weird experiments in the sand behind buildings or— At least they’ve managed to remove themselves from the rat race, both mentally and physically. A real win for them.

            Pitter patter, what’s the matter? Is it Town Mouse or Country Mouse? I’m pretty sure ours are country mice. But if they fall out of the car when I’m in town—well…?  

Rats, I almost forgot. Spring is almost here! I know, even with the spring equinox, the weather can still be wet and chilly. But on this special day the sun shines directly on Earth’s equator, creating nearly equal amounts of daylight and darkness. Now that’s something to celebrate. Bring out the drums! Have a dance party and live it up good. I think that’s what we ought to do. Enough belly aching about the rats in our lives!

Chi Varnado has published six books including fiction, nonfiction and children’s books. They are available on www.amazon.com. Her collection of essays, Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com or www.dancecentrepresents.com. 

           We’re probably not often able to get away for an extended period of time, but fortunately I was able to jump at an opportunity. Of course, I had to create this “opportunity” myself and I am ever so grateful that I both could and would. At this juncture in life when there are fewer days in the future than ones already lived, I feel the pressure to try to make certain things into priorities. It would be a lot easier to just keep trudging forward, day after day, same old, same old. But, lucky for me, that’s not a strong personality trait. Time to shake things up.

             Being a Southern California wimp, I get mighty cold here in the dead of winter. Warm tropical breezes beckoned me. After much deliberation, and mental wrestling and planning, I leaped. Part of the family joined us for the first week, then my husband stayed on for the next eight days. After he left, I had a short time on my own before being joined by my sister and a friend. I came to feel rather at home on the big island of Hawaii.

            Besides escaping the cold weather for a respite, the getaway served another very important part of my total wellbeing. I somehow felt the need to escape my life (my usual responsibilities). I doubt I’m alone in sometimes feeling that everything seems to be too much. But in order to get ready for the trip, I had to be proactive with all those responsibilities, on top of all the normal ones of the day. And, yes, I did have to deal with some of those while gone. Once home, I hit the ground running. Unpacking had to come later. It’s just the nature of it. One can only take a vacation away from normal day-to-day living for so long—until our inevitable end.     

            Getting away allows me to experience something different which can bring other perspectives into my life. Like putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes. Even if it’s the minor shift of not assuming that we’re the only one having a bad day. Or deciding not to get impatient with the slow car in front of us since they might have carsick passengers in the back seat or a baby who just fell asleep… Let’s not make assumptions that we are in the right. As Pema Chodron says, “Engage the next moment without an agenda.”

            Part of our adventure was staying at a Hawaiian farm. The night sounds are quite different from here. The coqui frogs sounded to me like very loud exotic birds, providing an eerie chorus which took a while to get used to, especially since we had the windows open 24/7. Geckos were welcome housemates who entertained us with their presence. Spiders and their webs are abundant everywhere. We learned to walk under or between foliage while waving our arm ahead. Just different things to get used to and appreciate.  

              Hikes along cliffs above the rocky shorelines provide breathtaking views. Gentle tropical breezes caress the skin and keep it naturally lubricated. Farm stands and farmers markets provide year-round fresh produce. Warmer ocean waters to wade in than we have around here.  The fragrance of plumeria blossoms reward the olfactory system and put a smile on my face. These are certainly highlights of the place.

            Let’s get outside of our own lives once in a while. Go ahead, pick-up that rock and look underneath it. And while we’re at it, perhaps peel away our own hard, crusty outer layer and peer beneath the surface. What we thought of as our protective layer might indeed be what’s keeping us trapped.   

Chi Varnado has published six books including fiction, nonfiction and children’s books. They are available on www.amazon.com. Her collection of essays, Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com or www.dancecentrepresents.com.