Who am I? Who are you? And who are we? What do we really know? Not much, I’m afraid. We’re so influenced by all the “noise” around us that we have to tune out some of it just to survive. And especially in order to find our own true north. However, it’s certainly easier said than done.

            We each have a vision about what our own true north might or should be and perhaps some of us have no idea and may be trying to find it. But, it’s not a stagnant thing—sometimes it can be a slippery slope, sometimes an expanding vista. In other words, I don’t think it’s set in stone. For much of my life, I seem to have laid some wide parameters here and there, but have mostly stumbled into the various paths my life has followed. And for that, I feel extremely grateful.

           Being raised in an unconventional family might have allowed me to be more open to non-conformist ideas. I followed my heart in pursuit of a degree in dance despite being pressured to proceed into the math and science realm. Teaching creative movement in an alternative, back-to-the-land, family-oriented environment opened me up to the possibility of being a mother myself.

            The general direction of my true north has remained steadfast in the way it’s rooted me to a rural, natural lifestyle. In fact, it’s so much a part of me that I’ve had recurring nightmares in which I have chosen something else, and I wake abruptly in a panic and a deep remorse stays with me for some time. Even though I only dreamed it.

            How many of us remain on good terms with absolutely every single person we’ve ever met? If we’re being totally honest here, then none of us have. It’s probably not possible, considering misunderstandings, foul moods, peer pressure… But I’m afraid that most of our separations have roots far deeper. These are the issues where we have choices in the way we handle them, lest we fall into a group mentality in lieu of acting within our own unique true north.

            What goes up must come down. I’ve looked at life from both sides now. The law of opposites can both attract and repel. Yin and yang. Mostly we get caught up in one side or the other and shut out any conflicting information. We humans tend to act like herd animals and snuggle deeper and deeper into our own tribe’s slogans. So much so that we can spout off without truly understanding what we are saying. It’s natural to want to belong to something bigger than just ourselves. This might actually be an instinct for self-preservation. Also, it’s much easier to not have to think through every single facet of life. But this way of living could lead to our collective demise, because sometimes instinct can lead to extinction.

            Consider the frog placed into room-temperature water and slowly, but surely, getting cooked to death in boiling water. This can occur so gradually that it doesn’t recognize what’s happening. I think we’re a lot like that when it comes to our desire for a sense of belonging. We end up putting on blinders and ear plugs in order to steer clear of that other side. Unfortunately, this has seemed to envelop us as individuals as well as our society and the whole world at large.

            The ‘group think” problem has taken over. Everybody thinks the same so nobody thinks at all. But sometimes you just have to stand there and figure out what’s really going on. As the summer solstice draws near perhaps this would be a good opportunity to do so. What better time than the longest day of the year, which gives us ample time to do some serious soul searching while we contemplate our own true north? That’s my plan, anyway—maybe I’ll just stand there and try to figure out what’s really going on.

Chi Varnado has published six books including fiction, nonfiction and children’s books. They are available on www.amazon.com. Her collection of essays, Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com or www.dancecentrepresents.com.

           Getting a glimpse of the total solar eclipse from the heart of Texas is what fueled our road trip. It provided the impetus we needed to contemplate an adventure across the deserts of the Southwest. I believe that a good shake-up of our perspectives, both physical and mental, can do a world of good.

            Some of the windswept ghost towns we visited felt like God-forsaken territory while some tucked-away niches (from the natural variety to the community-oriented) held an almost sacred energy. I couldn’t predict which kind might lay ahead of the last. Being open to surprise made the path of travel more of an adventure. For two weeks Kent and I drove, camped, hiked, and prepared one-pot meals.

            For the actual eclipse we took a walk to find a place with no street lights, since those would come on as darkness came. We found a deserted dirt road where we sat in our beach chairs for the experience. When twilight occurred in the middle of the day, a nearby herd of goats began carrying on for their dinner. I’ll bet they were a bit bewildered when ‘the night’ only lasted a few minutes. It was rather surreal for us as well. But back to perspective.

            Take comfort for instance. For some it might mean lounging in a recliner with a full belly and a good movie. For another it might be a meager soup and a straw mat in a cave. A cat, or me for that matter, seeks a warm, sunny spot to lay down on the carpet. Or in the shade of an oak tree, gazing up through its leaves into the sky from a bed in the grass. Everyone is different, but there are also variances in how we feel, what time of day it is, if we’ve eaten recently…  

            The perspective of one who never has enough to eat or even a place to live can be a real eye-opener to another who has never experienced that kind of deprivation. With increasing numbers of refugees in the world who have no home anymore to the overwhelming abundance of homelessness in our own nation, perhaps it’s time we expand our views to include some of theirs. Those with so much can produce more waste than imaginable, and the rest of us who fit somewhere in the middle—but what does that even mean anymore?

            Siblings who shared the same situations growing up can have vastly different perspectives on things as adults. Each person comes away from an event with their own memories which are undoubtedly colored by their opinions, biases, and countless other influences. Is anything truly a fact? Can we ever really know anything for certain? I don’t believe I can. This was something that plagued me even as a child. When someone asked if I was absolutely sure of something, I’d often respond, “No, I’m not sure of anything.” Maybe I’m not actually here, but just dreaming or thinking about it.

            This idea alone should make us stop and try to see things from others’ perspectives. Who knows? Some locked gate in the recesses of our minds might unlock when we do. And then what? Why don’t we give it a try—each day—and see where it leads? If more of us in the whole wide world did a little more of this then we might be a lot better off than we are now.

            We talked with a number of people during our two-week road trip, many of them on their own eclipse adventure. That was the common ground. In a neighboring campsite one night a small group sat around a campfire, playing guitar and singing James Taylor songs. Kent and I felt like little kids tucked into our bed, listening to ‘the grownups’. In another place we learned that the woman in the site next to us was traveling solo and actually preferred it that way. Her trip was a six-week loop from the East coast, through New Mexico and many other states. She wasn’t really all alone—a dog was her plus one. There was the couple who were our neighbors for two nights, followed by a surprise when we found them neighbors again in another state! Small world? Besides traveling for the eclipse, they were also pursuing ‘supernatural phenomenon…’ And there was the shop owner from South Africa who worked for several years on her accent so that customers wouldn’t say, “Speak English, please.”

            It can be so much fun to meet new people from all walks of life and learn new tidbits or ways of looking at things because of our differences instead of in spite of them. We found hoodoos and walked through slot canyons in Big Bend Ranch State Park. When we were there, I observed the reactions of fellow travelers, from conversations we had with them— “We have much better hoodoos in Utah;” to just watching how people looked around. A city person might have a totally different feeling than a veteran nature adventurer.

            Getting away from our regular routines and familiar surroundings can offer a whole bunch of benefits. The obvious being a vacation from the grind of our day-to-day existence. But also, getting away for a while can give us a renewed appreciation for our own home and, as luck would have it, a new perspective.

 Chi Varnado has published six books including fiction, nonfiction and children’s books. They are available on www.amazon.com. Her collection of essays, Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com or www.dancecentrepresents.com.

           When I had the dance studio, we included all the students in story ballets—regardless of the dance genre. I felt that this helped to foster a sense of inclusion in the entire community of dancers and gymnasts. Typical recitals bring each class on stage separately, where they perform ‘their number’ and then off they go. We also, purposely, did not enter competitions or promote competitiveness or give prizes. The reward was in the getting to do it. The joys, the sorrows, the passion of movement and musicality has always added to the richness of life itself.

           So, what happened to our village concept—when we all would pull together for the greater good? Yes, sometimes our feelings get hurt, but is our momentary sensitivity worth blowing off everyone else? It might seem like it at the time—until we pull back and look at the bigger picture. All too often we act before pausing to take a breath, and therefore mess things up not only for individuals and businesses, but for a whole community. Unchecked jealousy and greed can spread like poison.

            The squeaky wheel gets the grease… for better or worse. Sometimes we act through a sense of entitlement or our own personal concept of fairness, but again, pausing and acting through compassion can benefit all of us, instead of only ourselves. I think I owe it to the whole, as well as to myself, to slow down and act for the greater good—to enrich my community, not knock others down to build myself up.

            I did hear, though, that there is good news on the horizon.

            Spring is in the air, if not quite on the calendar, bringing with it fragrant lilacs, green hills, prolific birdsong, and running water. We are so fortunate to live in this beautiful place, to hike the lush ravines, sip wine at our wonderful wineries, peruse the antique shops along Main Street, buy fresh produce from the local farmstands, get together with friends and enjoy the warm sunshine… It’s so easy to get caught up and entrenched in our own routines that we lose sight of all this beauty right in front of us. I’m as guilty as anyone. So, I’m reminding myself, and each one of you, to pause and take an extra deep breath… and SMILE.

Chi Varnado has published six books including fiction, nonfiction and children’s books. They are available on www.amazon.com. Her collection of essays, Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com or www.dancecentrepresents.com.