Deadlines and commitments/What to leave in, what to leave out. Bob Seger’s crooning echoes melodically in my mind—and heart. As a writer, these words can be taken quite literally. Plenty of deadlines—articles due, pages to be written, edits… Some are self-imposed, like deciding to finish an essay before getting to go outside. When editing our work, we usually end up slashing more than we add. “Kill your darlings,” as the experts say. There’s not much point in being attached to what we’ve written—it could easily get cut.

            In aging, we find that we can’t do some of the things we once did. I certainly can’t dance like I used to. Sad, but true. Nor do I run as fast, or get as much done. I think many of us look back and wonder, how on earth did I do all that? Sometimes it’s medically advisable to eat differently and/or exercise. We might choose to continue treating the grandchildren, but not partake ourselves. Instead of going out to lunch perhaps we’ll take a walk, or at least walk afterwards. Or not swim laps, but run-in-place in the water…

            The final deadline for us all is the end of life. The trouble is—we don’t know when that will be. We can make all the assumptions we want, but that doesn’t change anything. What things do you want to do while you’re still able? What would you like to say to someone before your ultimate deadline? Or theirs? I think these questions are worth pondering. And more importantly, to follow through before it’s too late. I suppose in this train of thought, bucket list items should be considered as well. But also important is getting our affairs in order: Trusts, Wills, Powers of Attorney and Healthcare Directives.

            Kent and I reworked our Trusts which took several weeks. This process took a lot of planning, communicating, and excruciating reading and rereading all the legal jargon, hoping that what it actually said was what we wanted it to say. Once we signed on the dotted lines, we invited the kids up. We walked them through the documents so hopefully there won’t be any surprises when the time comes. We at least tried to do our due diligence about what to leave in and what to leave out.  

            Then there is what the Swedish refer to as ‘Death Cleaning’. This simply means to clean up our act before we’re gone. Go through our stuff now (even in our 30’s and 40’s) and organize what’s worth keeping, and what’s not. We really ought to try to be realistic about this because our kids may very well not want any of it. Let’s give them the gift of less stuff for them to weed through and toss out. It is our stuff, after all. Our things don’t have the same meaning to others as they do to us. This is just the simple fact of the matter. When we do get rid of stuff, let’s do it responsibly and not just add it to the landfill. We can donate, have yard sales, give to friends items that they sincerely desire, gift books to libraries to sell… Get creative. Who knows, it might even be fun.

            I’ve been trying, in my own small way, to proceed with death cleaning. I really don’t know if I’ll manage to finish before my deadline though. I may only get to one shelf in a cupboard at a time, but at least it’s something. And I may not get around to the next drawer for a couple of weeks. However, even these small accomplishments feel good—and sometimes a little bit fun.

            And now—Bucket List. Ever since I was a kid I’ve wanted to go to Australia. I think it was because I perceived it to be rural and wide open. If I ever go, I’d like to visit New Zealand as well. But it’s not as much of a burning desire as it once was, and much more expensive now. Even so, it probably deserves some thought. My love of rural areas is very real and there are many places to experience that. More food for thought. So, how about you? What’s on your bucket list? What will you leave in—and what will you leave out?

Chi Varnado has published six books including fiction, nonfiction and children’s books. They are available on www.amazon.com. Her collection of essays, Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com or www.dancecentrepresents.com.

She is available to adults and children for fun tutoring in writing.