Have you ever been to Lindo Lake in Lakeside? If not, you may want to check it out. This place, along with many other County parks, provides a beautiful green space for joggers, dog walkers, and others seeking peace in an otherwise suburban area. I wandered over here to enjoy a little space and fresh air while the old truck camper gets worked on. Parent Canadian geese hiss at passing dogs to protect their four young goslings. Snowy egrets warble amongst themselves in a tall eucalyptus. Pigeons with iridescent purple necks strut about, and ducks continuously inquire, hoping for tidbits from passersby. This place of refuge seems well utilized, at least this morning it is.

            It does my heart good to see folks out enjoying this sunny day, whether it’s before heading out to work, or simply choosing this over an urban mall or retail facility to bide their time. Good for them—trying to live a balanced life in this tech-reliant world we call home.

            At a recent appointment, my dermatologist and I were discussing my Quail Mutterings column.

            “Do you use AI to help you write?”

            “No,” I told him and explained how my usual process was to sit outside on a rock, or on a log in the creekbed, and write on a notepad.

            “By hand?”

            “Yes. And then I type it into the computer.”

            He was flabbergasted and informed me that there are these programs where you can dictate instead of type. But I complained about how even when I dictate a text it often comes out horribly wrong and inaccurate.

            “I guess I’m just a bit old-school that way.” I can’t seem to help feeling more and more alone in this world as everyone else seems to be connecting more and more online. But I wonder, this growing disconnect from in-person social engagement, and increasing screen time, can’t possibly be all for good. Can it? 

            I do realize I’m biased and am probably wearing blinders, but it’s hard to ignore the rise in depression and obesity, and decline of our population’s health at the same time. I just think we’re getting out of balance. And I’m sounding the alarm.

            What’s to become of us? I’m afraid for what future generations will have to contend with. Contaminated water, toxic air, undigestible so-called food… What a huge fiasco we’ve gotten ourselves into. Anyway—I diverge.

I gaze out across the Anza Borrego mountains, the shadows shape-shifting along the ridges. Now that the truck camper doesn’t leak water anymore, I’m here to enjoy a little respite from my normal day-to-day routine. Pulling back out of the current can allow a widening view of things, painting a broader perspective of what might really be, instead of what we thought while in the thick of it. Who knew?

            Life’s funny that way sometimes. Just removing myself from an overthinking mind, and giving my heart permission to come forward with a healthier perspective, can make all the difference. The trick is to remember this the next time a rational decision seems like too much. Ahh.

            As spring ramps up toward summer, with all the finals, end-of-season tournaments, dance recitals, and graduations adding to an already busy schedule, can leave parents stressed out, exhausted, and short tempered. I remember those days well, as if they were yesterday. But now, I feel like I have more tools in my belt to handle things better. Not perfectly for sure, but at least with a bit more perspective. The benefits of age do come with a price though. With hindsight we can see our flaws more clearly. And that’s a good thing, but it’s just not always comfortable.

            Recognizing the need for improvement is one step forward. What we do with that is up to us. One foot in front of the other, step-by-step, with mindfulness and creativity, let’s make this place better than we found it. Clearer, brighter, and more inclusive. Carpe diem!

Chi Varnado has published six books including fiction, nonfiction and children’s books. They are available on www.amazon.com. Her collection of essays, Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com or www.dancecentrepresents.com.

She is available to adults and children for fun tutoring in writing. 

Few of us do as much for the preservation of our planet as Jane Goodall did. I feel extremely fortunate to have gotten to meet her after she gave a talk at SDSU, when I was taking a zoology course there. Her personal studies of the chimpanzees while living in the African bush led to discoveries which showed that we (humans) are not unique in adapting to change and figuring out how to manipulate things into tools. The chimps found that using sticks, stones and leaves can make day-to-day living easier and more productive. Since then, other species have been observed practicing similar behavior. We just have to stop what we’re doing and simply watch. A kind of ‘time out’ from our self-important tasks and obsessions.

            Getting away from our own schedules and routines can prove challenging, as Anne Lamott was quoted in Southern Living:

            “It’s good to do uncomfortable things. It’s weight training for life.”

            If we expect or desire things to be a certain way when we travel, start a new job, host company… then we miss out on the many benefits of new experiences, and opportunities for growth. And just like Lamott says, it can be downright uncomfortable. So, we must practice letting go and open ourselves up to what may, or may not, come. If things prove too difficult, just slip on your rose-colored glasses.

            A few years ago, we took a road trip over to Sedona with our kids and grandchildren. As the granny in charge, I concentrated on getting everyone out the door early so we could find parking at the trailhead, as well as beat the heat of the day. When we all got out of the cars, ready to embark on our seven-mile hike, my husband pointed at my feet.

            “Are you hiking in those?”

            I looked down at my naked feet in flimsy flip flops and gasped. I had been so focused on getting everyone else ready, I’d completely forgotten my own hiking shoes.

            A million thoughts raced through my head, but I quickly realized that it would be ridiculous to spend an hour going back to get them, or to not hike while everyone else went. They’d all stopped and were staring at me.

            “Don’t worry about me. I’ll just go a bit slower.” I had serious doubts, but decided to just buck up. After utilizing some mental gymnastics, and pretending that I was one of those barefoot runners, I convinced myself that this was quite the norm for me. No problem.

            On the trek up the long, arduous trail, a number of other hikers noted my lack of appropriate footwear.

            “Wow, good for you!” Or, “That’s impressive.”

            I countered with, “No, it’s more like stupid forgetfulness.” And then returned to my barefoot runner mindset.

            When all was said and done, my feet had held up pretty well—with no adverse repercussions whatsoever. I felt good about being able to pull this off. It was simply mind over matter.

            When life deals you lemons, just make lemonade. Of course, this is absolutely easier said than done. Some true tragedies can take far longer for us to wrap our heads around and work through as we adjust to our new reality. But other than those life altering events, most things can test us and make us stronger. Not always, but they NEVER will if we don’t make the effort to get past our own discomfort. After all, there’s no high without the low, or true peace without the suffering. Yin and yang, give and take, ebb and flow, old and new…

            The next time that idiot revs past you on the road while giving the finger, just wave and smile. He’ll probably wonder, What the heck?

Whether we decide to put on those rose-colored glasses or pretend we’re a barefoot runner, it sometimes helps to stop and try to observe our situation from afar. A little perspective can often do wonders for a mental adjustment. One might be amazed at what is possible.

Chi Varnado has published six books including fiction, nonfiction and children’s books. They are available on www.amazon.com. Her collection of essays, Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com or www.dancecentrepresents.com.

She is available to adults and children for fun tutoring in writing. 

           What do you want to be known or remembered for? Your career accomplishments? How much money you have? A big, fancy house in a nice neighborhood with expensive cars? How many gifts you gave? The number of followers you have on social media? Or perhaps we’d rather be remembered for how kind we are to everyone, including strangers. How well we listen. How often we share our time with friends, family, and those in need. These might be worthwhile ideas to ponder.

            Recently, I’ve learned about a growing trend to try to reach across our divide, and instead of focusing on our differences we attempt to mostly listen to another’s ideas, and then speak – only if granted permission to share our own opinions. This tends to foster more connections instead of further alienation. It can be difficult, but practice makes better. I’m working on it.

            Today, I’m sitting down in the dry creekbed, pondering these concepts while feeling extremely grateful for this beautiful warm day. The sunlight filters through the oak canopy above and the new blades of grass press upward through the moist soil, becoming a lovely green carpet. I breathe in the fresh, clean air as a Northern Flicker calls nearby. My oh my, lucky me.

            I was, once again, sitting in a friend’s yard the other day, eating burritos in the bushes. It’s quite a treat for both of us—to sit outside amongst the chaparral, enjoy good conversation, and eat delicious burritos which I pick up on the way over there. Our discussions often drift from ancient Native American ways of life and art, a shared distaste of pop culture, and our growing concern about the decrease in our population’s connection with nature.

            “I gotta say, I’m quite worried about the nature deprivation that, seemingly, most people live with.” I personally know individuals who rarely spend any time at all outside, and when inside have all the windows and curtains closed and rely on climate-controlled heat or AC. By the way, I don’t use curtains as they block out the natural light and fresh air coming in through the windows—free of charge, utilizing no damaging man-created energy. Besides, if I don’t go outside at least several times each day, I just do not feel good—mentally, physically, or spiritually.

            My friend said, “I’m just glad we lived back in the real world.”

            “Me too.”

            Stillness is a concept well worth practicing, but is sadly overlooked in the usual hustle and bustle of our current culture. Can’t we sense there’s a problem when sleep won’t come without background noise; or we don’t drive anywhere without listening to the radio, a podcast, or be on the phone; or do chores without earbuds, providing whatever distractions that catch our fancy? How about simply plain, old-fashioned quiet? We might find that it’s not really all that silent or “boring” and perhaps we’ll begin to hear ourselves contemplating.

            I often find myself wandering along a rugged path or along the dirt road and just stop and stand there—taking it all in. Then I’m aware of the deep blue sky, a beautifully-shaped oak tree, interesting crack formations in a boulder, a hawk calling from overhead… The scent of sagebrush always lightens my mood and brings on a smile. Similar natural connections can be available almost anywhere. I believe they are worth seeking out, and by making them a daily ritual they can bring balance and healing to our fragmented souls.

            So, how about the next time we’re stuck in rush hour traffic, or waiting in a long line to be served, let’s smile and wave to those around us. It’ll probably make us feel better while giving us something else to think about instead of getting impatient and angry. And it could lighten the mood for anyone near us. Who knows? This simple act might even lead to a ripple effect of kindness.

 Chi Varnado has published six books including fiction, nonfiction and children’s books. They are available on www.amazon.com. Her collection of essays, Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com or www.dancecentrepresents.com.

She is available to adults and children for fun tutoring in writing.