Few of us do as much for the preservation of our planet as Jane Goodall did. I feel extremely fortunate to have gotten to meet her after she gave a talk at SDSU, when I was taking a zoology course there. Her personal studies of the chimpanzees while living in the African bush led to discoveries which showed that we (humans) are not unique in adapting to change and figuring out how to manipulate things into tools. The chimps found that using sticks, stones and leaves can make day-to-day living easier and more productive. Since then, other species have been observed practicing similar behavior. We just have to stop what we’re doing and simply watch. A kind of ‘time out’ from our self-important tasks and obsessions.

            Getting away from our own schedules and routines can prove challenging, as Anne Lamott was quoted in Southern Living:

            “It’s good to do uncomfortable things. It’s weight training for life.”

            If we expect or desire things to be a certain way when we travel, start a new job, host company… then we miss out on the many benefits of new experiences, and opportunities for growth. And just like Lamott says, it can be downright uncomfortable. So, we must practice letting go and open ourselves up to what may, or may not, come. If things prove too difficult, just slip on your rose-colored glasses.

            A few years ago, we took a road trip over to Sedona with our kids and grandchildren. As the granny in charge, I concentrated on getting everyone out the door early so we could find parking at the trailhead, as well as beat the heat of the day. When we all got out of the cars, ready to embark on our seven-mile hike, my husband pointed at my feet.

            “Are you hiking in those?”

            I looked down at my naked feet in flimsy flip flops and gasped. I had been so focused on getting everyone else ready, I’d completely forgotten my own hiking shoes.

            A million thoughts raced through my head, but I quickly realized that it would be ridiculous to spend an hour going back to get them, or to not hike while everyone else went. They’d all stopped and were staring at me.

            “Don’t worry about me. I’ll just go a bit slower.” I had serious doubts, but decided to just buck up. After utilizing some mental gymnastics, and pretending that I was one of those barefoot runners, I convinced myself that this was quite the norm for me. No problem.

            On the trek up the long, arduous trail, a number of other hikers noted my lack of appropriate footwear.

            “Wow, good for you!” Or, “That’s impressive.”

            I countered with, “No, it’s more like stupid forgetfulness.” And then returned to my barefoot runner mindset.

            When all was said and done, my feet had held up pretty well—with no adverse repercussions whatsoever. I felt good about being able to pull this off. It was simply mind over matter.

            When life deals you lemons, just make lemonade. Of course, this is absolutely easier said than done. Some true tragedies can take far longer for us to wrap our heads around and work through as we adjust to our new reality. But other than those life altering events, most things can test us and make us stronger. Not always, but they NEVER will if we don’t make the effort to get past our own discomfort. After all, there’s no high without the low, or true peace without the suffering. Yin and yang, give and take, ebb and flow, old and new…

            The next time that idiot revs past you on the road while giving the finger, just wave and smile. He’ll probably wonder, What the heck?

Whether we decide to put on those rose-colored glasses or pretend we’re a barefoot runner, it sometimes helps to stop and try to observe our situation from afar. A little perspective can often do wonders for a mental adjustment. One might be amazed at what is possible.

Chi Varnado has published six books including fiction, nonfiction and children’s books. They are available on www.amazon.com. Her collection of essays, Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com or www.dancecentrepresents.com.

She is available to adults and children for fun tutoring in writing. 

           What do you want to be known or remembered for? Your career accomplishments? How much money you have? A big, fancy house in a nice neighborhood with expensive cars? How many gifts you gave? The number of followers you have on social media? Or perhaps we’d rather be remembered for how kind we are to everyone, including strangers. How well we listen. How often we share our time with friends, family, and those in need. These might be worthwhile ideas to ponder.

            Recently, I’ve learned about a growing trend to try to reach across our divide, and instead of focusing on our differences we attempt to mostly listen to another’s ideas, and then speak – only if granted permission to share our own opinions. This tends to foster more connections instead of further alienation. It can be difficult, but practice makes better. I’m working on it.

            Today, I’m sitting down in the dry creekbed, pondering these concepts while feeling extremely grateful for this beautiful warm day. The sunlight filters through the oak canopy above and the new blades of grass press upward through the moist soil, becoming a lovely green carpet. I breathe in the fresh, clean air as a Northern Flicker calls nearby. My oh my, lucky me.

            I was, once again, sitting in a friend’s yard the other day, eating burritos in the bushes. It’s quite a treat for both of us—to sit outside amongst the chaparral, enjoy good conversation, and eat delicious burritos which I pick up on the way over there. Our discussions often drift from ancient Native American ways of life and art, a shared distaste of pop culture, and our growing concern about the decrease in our population’s connection with nature.

            “I gotta say, I’m quite worried about the nature deprivation that, seemingly, most people live with.” I personally know individuals who rarely spend any time at all outside, and when inside have all the windows and curtains closed and rely on climate-controlled heat or AC. By the way, I don’t use curtains as they block out the natural light and fresh air coming in through the windows—free of charge, utilizing no damaging man-created energy. Besides, if I don’t go outside at least several times each day, I just do not feel good—mentally, physically, or spiritually.

            My friend said, “I’m just glad we lived back in the real world.”

            “Me too.”

            Stillness is a concept well worth practicing, but is sadly overlooked in the usual hustle and bustle of our current culture. Can’t we sense there’s a problem when sleep won’t come without background noise; or we don’t drive anywhere without listening to the radio, a podcast, or be on the phone; or do chores without earbuds, providing whatever distractions that catch our fancy? How about simply plain, old-fashioned quiet? We might find that it’s not really all that silent or “boring” and perhaps we’ll begin to hear ourselves contemplating.

            I often find myself wandering along a rugged path or along the dirt road and just stop and stand there—taking it all in. Then I’m aware of the deep blue sky, a beautifully-shaped oak tree, interesting crack formations in a boulder, a hawk calling from overhead… The scent of sagebrush always lightens my mood and brings on a smile. Similar natural connections can be available almost anywhere. I believe they are worth seeking out, and by making them a daily ritual they can bring balance and healing to our fragmented souls.

            So, how about the next time we’re stuck in rush hour traffic, or waiting in a long line to be served, let’s smile and wave to those around us. It’ll probably make us feel better while giving us something else to think about instead of getting impatient and angry. And it could lighten the mood for anyone near us. Who knows? This simple act might even lead to a ripple effect of kindness.

 Chi Varnado has published six books including fiction, nonfiction and children’s books. They are available on www.amazon.com. Her collection of essays, Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com or www.dancecentrepresents.com.

She is available to adults and children for fun tutoring in writing.

           Out of the mouths of babes. I gotta say I learn so much, or at least re-learn, from things the grandchildren sometimes say. I often get these tidbits on Mondays when I pick up nine-year-old Kya in Santee and take her to ballet class in Balboa Park. This morning as we walked from the parking lot, she had a question for me about when I was a kid.

            “Granny, was the world a less colorful place when you were growing up?”

            Hmm. “What made you think that?”

            “Well,” she pondered. “All the old photos are black and white.”

            “Huh.” I couldn’t help but chuckle. “That’s a very interesting thought, Kya.” I proceeded to explain how film, back in the day, could only be developed into black and white. They didn’t have the technology for developing color photographs yet. I kind of laughed again at her conclusion. “The world was just as colorful back then.” I proceeded to tell her that the quality of black and white is often better than color.

“What?” she sneered. “How is that even possible?”

            I pointed out a sculpted roofline and indicated the definition of it against the sky. “Often that can look more vivid without colors. It would stand out more starkly.”

            “And the sky would be white?”

            “Well, more like shades of gray. It wasn’t only just black and white.”

            “And something else, Granny. Why was nobody ever smiling in those old pictures? Were they not happy back then?”

            I unsuccessfully held back another chuckle. Kids say the darndest things. I gave a brief ponder before responding. “That is true, isn’t it? Perhaps they just felt more important when they looked serious. Maybe?”

            On to ballet class.

             Last week, Kya had told me something that her little sister, Zoe, said. Their dad was turning forty-six which made her both happy and sad. Birthdays are fun because you get to have a party. But sad because she didn’t want her daddy to be old.

Wow—how profound. From a six-year-old! I love to bear witness to these little nuggets of wisdom and watch how their minds work.

            Later, when we got back to Santee, one of our conversations led to looking online at babies in cars during the 1950’s and 60’s. We laughed at some of the preposterous methods of transports: babies on dashboards in the sun, strange metal car seat contraptions, baby seats hanging out of car windows…

            Kya blurted out. “Did they not like babies back then?”

            We all busted up.

            Besides adding levity or entertaining us, kids embody the ability to be totally in the moment. They, at times, can maintain complete absorption in something, regardless of what else might be going on. I’m not talking about when they are plugged into a video game. I’m referring to an actual activity which grabs their interest. One of my favorite things to do when I’m around a toddler who is allowed the time and space to explore, is to simply observe them. I love watching their curiosity blossom. We also have this ability, but it can often be more difficult to maintain because of the many distractions that bombard us daily, as well as just keeping up with our never-ending ‘to do’ list.

            I realize that it can be easier for a grandparent than a parent to slow down enough to watch these things unfold. It’s well worth doing—even if it’s just watching some random kid at the park. And I often learn some very important things when I really listen to a child. For instance, do you know why some kids think they’d like to grow up to be a trash truck driver? It’s because they only have to work one day a week. Pretty observant, I’d say.  

            Oh, have you heard the one about Halloween? Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts! This one came from AARP. Happy chuckling through your day.

Chi Varnado has published six books including fiction, nonfiction and children’s books. They are available on www.amazon.com. Her collection of essays, Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com or www.dancecentrepresents.com.

She is available to adults and children for fun tutoring in writing.