Out of the mouths of babes. I gotta say I learn so much, or at least re-learn, from things the grandchildren sometimes say. I often get these tidbits on Mondays when I pick up nine-year-old Kya in Santee and take her to ballet class in Balboa Park. This morning as we walked from the parking lot, she had a question for me about when I was a kid.

            “Granny, was the world a less colorful place when you were growing up?”

            Hmm. “What made you think that?”

            “Well,” she pondered. “All the old photos are black and white.”

            “Huh.” I couldn’t help but chuckle. “That’s a very interesting thought, Kya.” I proceeded to explain how film, back in the day, could only be developed into black and white. They didn’t have the technology for developing color photographs yet. I kind of laughed again at her conclusion. “The world was just as colorful back then.” I proceeded to tell her that the quality of black and white is often better than color.

“What?” she sneered. “How is that even possible?”

            I pointed out a sculpted roofline and indicated the definition of it against the sky. “Often that can look more vivid without colors. It would stand out more starkly.”

            “And the sky would be white?”

            “Well, more like shades of gray. It wasn’t only just black and white.”

            “And something else, Granny. Why was nobody ever smiling in those old pictures? Were they not happy back then?”

            I unsuccessfully held back another chuckle. Kids say the darndest things. I gave a brief ponder before responding. “That is true, isn’t it? Perhaps they just felt more important when they looked serious. Maybe?”

            On to ballet class.

             Last week, Kya had told me something that her little sister, Zoe, said. Their dad was turning forty-six which made her both happy and sad. Birthdays are fun because you get to have a party. But sad because she didn’t want her daddy to be old.

Wow—how profound. From a six-year-old! I love to bear witness to these little nuggets of wisdom and watch how their minds work.

            Later, when we got back to Santee, one of our conversations led to looking online at babies in cars during the 1950’s and 60’s. We laughed at some of the preposterous methods of transports: babies on dashboards in the sun, strange metal car seat contraptions, baby seats hanging out of car windows…

            Kya blurted out. “Did they not like babies back then?”

            We all busted up.

            Besides adding levity or entertaining us, kids embody the ability to be totally in the moment. They, at times, can maintain complete absorption in something, regardless of what else might be going on. I’m not talking about when they are plugged into a video game. I’m referring to an actual activity which grabs their interest. One of my favorite things to do when I’m around a toddler who is allowed the time and space to explore, is to simply observe them. I love watching their curiosity blossom. We also have this ability, but it can often be more difficult to maintain because of the many distractions that bombard us daily, as well as just keeping up with our never-ending ‘to do’ list.

            I realize that it can be easier for a grandparent than a parent to slow down enough to watch these things unfold. It’s well worth doing—even if it’s just watching some random kid at the park. And I often learn some very important things when I really listen to a child. For instance, do you know why some kids think they’d like to grow up to be a trash truck driver? It’s because they only have to work one day a week. Pretty observant, I’d say.  

            Oh, have you heard the one about Halloween? Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts! This one came from AARP. Happy chuckling through your day.

Chi Varnado has published six books including fiction, nonfiction and children’s books. They are available on www.amazon.com. Her collection of essays, Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com or www.dancecentrepresents.com.

She is available to adults and children for fun tutoring in writing.

           Well, I think we are now officially falling into Fall. Night time is coming earlier and earlier, making it tougher for those of us who tend to live by the natural rhythms of daylight and darkness. I’m finding it more challenging to stay awake long enough in the evening to maintain a suitable bedtime. And sometimes I just give up and give in to my body’s desire to be done for the day. Good night to me. Might we all be better off to hibernate a little more these days?

            Sometimes the gradual slant of the sun, with its yellowing light, gives away the approach of Fall before anything else. At least that’s what I notice first. And in some ways the sun feels more intense, yet the shade is much cooler. Quite different from summer. The recent rains were most welcome as they helped to dim the likelihood of wildfires. The cleansing effect diminished the dust from the dirt road and nourished the thirsty landscape. Maybe we can cut back our watering to once a week now. I hope.

            This time of year is also known for the increase in visibility, partly because of the dryer air. I love to sit out in the yard, like I am right now, noticing how vivid each leaf is against the cloudless and incredibly blue sky—standing out in stark relief. Like me, the dog can’t decide whether to be in the sun or shade so both of us find a blending to settle into, while the breeze rustling through the trees provides a kind of soothing music.

            The other morning, pre-dawn, I lay listening to the owls echoing through the canyon in my semi-conscious slumber. Lyrics from a song came to mind:

           Don’t let it bring you down
           It’s only castles burning
           Find someone who’s turning
           And you will come around

The words and melody repeated in my mind and it occurred to me how aptly this applies to our current political Fall, and also to the problem of zealotry of any kind. Then this thought came to me:

Don’t get snagged by the messenger. Just carry out the message.  

            Not proselytize. Quietly, subtly, and without recognition, simply live the message. My dad used to say that as a young boy scout, he was supposed to do a good deed each day that nobody knew about—only him. After completing the task he could then shift his penny from one pocket to the other. An inward reminder that he helped to make the world a better place.

            As the season changes I add another quilt to the bed to snuggle under, but still leave the window ajar so I can hear the poorwills, owls and crickets. Nowadays the weather seems to change higgledy-piggledy, like Russian roulette, or the game of rock-paper-scissors. A warm night that leads to a cool day. Or a predicted light rain which ends up dumping bucketloads…

            Fall always feels like a good time to assess the past year and make new resolutions or gain a new commitment to ongoing practices. I don’t know if this is because of it being the time when a new school year begins or what. But for me, it feels like a more natural start than January 1st ever does. For one, I’m going to try to remember to choose joy more often. And when I do, then good things can be brought forth. And that goes right along with positivity and integrity. At least, that’s what I’m shooting for.

Chi Varnado has published six books including fiction, nonfiction and children’s books. They are available on www.amazon.com. Her collection of essays, Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com or www.dancecentrepresents.com.

She is available to adults and children for fun tutoring in writing.

           Friends, family, pets… It seems to become more and more important as we age to tend these precious relationships. Of course, it’s beneficial that we, ourselves, be proactive and reach out to those around us—especially to the ones who might be feeling isolated. But this is not solely an act of altruism. The kindness can also be selfish in that it can fuel us as well, making it a win/win situation.

            As families scatter to different places and our group of friends gets smaller, someone’s got to be the prime mover before we all end up alone and lonely. Some of us are not as internet savvy and with that now being the main mode of operation, we can feel left out and left behind. “Do I really have to text you first—before calling?” Some, evidently, don’t regularly check their email either. Is that outdated as well? I think I’ll go outside and pet my dog.

            Animals also have obvious feelings. I remember, years ago, when one of our old horses went down once again, with possible structural damage this time. She had coped for many years with EPM (Equine Protozoal Myeloencephalitis), a disease that forever can affect balance and coordination. We had to have the veterinarian out to put her down and a neighbor graciously came that night to help bury her with his tractor. When all was done her pasture mate pawed at her grave, laid down, and rolled and rolled—over and over again. It was heart-wrenching to witness. Clearly, she meant a lot to him. And for months after, he was depressed. This wasn’t the first time, or the last, that I’ve seen this kind of emotion with our horses over the decades. Often with children, and sometimes adults, they act out when they can’t get attention. Actually, negative attention can be better than none at all. We all crave connection, animals too.

            When I get in the car and start the engine, the radio comes on automatically. It’s one of those annoying factory installs that nobody seems to know how to rectify. Yesterday, instead of immediately turning it off, I picked up on a discussion that happened to tie in with my current thoughts. They were talking about a problem which could be looming. There are some people who will be put off with the abundance of AI-generated information and assistance and, instead, choose to use their electronic devices only when absolutely necessary. They will seek out more in person exchanges. Others, excited by the new technology, will jump in whole-heartedly and spend a lot more time on their beloved computers, smart phones, tablets, watches… There could be less and less communication between the two groups, which is likely to create even more of a divide in our society.

            Consequently, there’s a new term, “Errand Friend,” which refers to someone who can accompany us on our otherwise mundane, run-of-the-mill tasks. Or we can go along with them. Or both. It can be beneficial for all. It’s a cheap outing, no special attire needed, or extravagant detail planning. It makes good sense and can help satisfy some of our social needs.

            “Hey, do you want to come over and help me water? Then I can clean out your cupboard with you.”

            “How about accompanying me to the doctor and then we can have a picnic in the park on the way home?”

            “Sure, I’ll babysit. And hey, could you come over and help me move my dresser?”

            You get the picture.

            Sometimes, when I go to the beach with a friend or two, we stop and run errands together on the way home: Trader Joe’s, Lowes, Jimbo’s… You know, as long as we’re down the hill anyway. This prevents a separate trip; saving time, wear and tear on our vehicle, gasoline—while making these chores a bit more fun.

            So, what’s your next task? Can you rope in a friend? Going somewhere that you’d like some company? Offer a ride to share in a grocery shopping trip? The possibilities can be limitless. Maybe I’ll see you out there.

Chi Varnado has published six books including fiction, nonfiction and children’s books. They are available on www.amazon.com. Her collection of essays, Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com or www.dancecentrepresents.com.

She is available to adults and children for fun tutoring in writing.