We’re probably not often able to get away for an extended period of time, but fortunately I was able to jump at an opportunity. Of course, I had to create this “opportunity” myself and I am ever so grateful that I both could and would. At this juncture in life when there are fewer days in the future than ones already lived, I feel the pressure to try to make certain things into priorities. It would be a lot easier to just keep trudging forward, day after day, same old, same old. But, lucky for me, that’s not a strong personality trait. Time to shake things up.

             Being a Southern California wimp, I get mighty cold here in the dead of winter. Warm tropical breezes beckoned me. After much deliberation, and mental wrestling and planning, I leaped. Part of the family joined us for the first week, then my husband stayed on for the next eight days. After he left, I had a short time on my own before being joined by my sister and a friend. I came to feel rather at home on the big island of Hawaii.

            Besides escaping the cold weather for a respite, the getaway served another very important part of my total wellbeing. I somehow felt the need to escape my life (my usual responsibilities). I doubt I’m alone in sometimes feeling that everything seems to be too much. But in order to get ready for the trip, I had to be proactive with all those responsibilities, on top of all the normal ones of the day. And, yes, I did have to deal with some of those while gone. Once home, I hit the ground running. Unpacking had to come later. It’s just the nature of it. One can only take a vacation away from normal day-to-day living for so long—until our inevitable end.     

            Getting away allows me to experience something different which can bring other perspectives into my life. Like putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes. Even if it’s the minor shift of not assuming that we’re the only one having a bad day. Or deciding not to get impatient with the slow car in front of us since they might have carsick passengers in the back seat or a baby who just fell asleep… Let’s not make assumptions that we are in the right. As Pema Chodron says, “Engage the next moment without an agenda.”

            Part of our adventure was staying at a Hawaiian farm. The night sounds are quite different from here. The coqui frogs sounded to me like very loud exotic birds, providing an eerie chorus which took a while to get used to, especially since we had the windows open 24/7. Geckos were welcome housemates who entertained us with their presence. Spiders and their webs are abundant everywhere. We learned to walk under or between foliage while waving our arm ahead. Just different things to get used to and appreciate.  

              Hikes along cliffs above the rocky shorelines provide breathtaking views. Gentle tropical breezes caress the skin and keep it naturally lubricated. Farm stands and farmers markets provide year-round fresh produce. Warmer ocean waters to wade in than we have around here.  The fragrance of plumeria blossoms reward the olfactory system and put a smile on my face. These are certainly highlights of the place.

            Let’s get outside of our own lives once in a while. Go ahead, pick-up that rock and look underneath it. And while we’re at it, perhaps peel away our own hard, crusty outer layer and peer beneath the surface. What we thought of as our protective layer might indeed be what’s keeping us trapped.   

Chi Varnado has published six books including fiction, nonfiction and children’s books. They are available on www.amazon.com. Her collection of essays, Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com or www.dancecentrepresents.com. 

           These days it can feel more difficult, it seems, to maintain happiness. Between the news, cold weather, Santa Ana winds and power shutoffs, lack of rain, the holiday fun behind us, short days— we crave more glimmers of hope to buoy us. Am I alone in this? We probably all have at least a touch of seasonal affective disorder whether we realize it or not. Pessimistic? Yeah, yeah, sorry. But let’s try to look on the bright side, or at least try to find one.

            February has a couple of holidays sprinkled in. That’s something. Sometimes just a break in routine can give us renewed enthusiasm. Even if it only provides a chance to catch up on our ‘To Do’ list, that can feel rewarding too. And just pausing to reflect on the reason for the holiday might be enough.

            On these cold, windy days I’ll sometimes wander into the hills and find a sunny, protected spot to soak up some warmth. I like to discover a break in the bushes and sit down in the dirt to get below the wind level. This can work pretty well.

            I’ve been fantasizing about another road trip—perhaps in April. Again, waiting for decent weather. Maybe just over to Arizona for the Tucson Folk Festival and then visit some of the beautiful protected lands in the Southeast. Anyway—something to look forward to.

I’ve heard that we’re supposed to grow wiser and happier with age. There’s a lot of truth to it, but as more time passes, we all go through more challenging times. (And good ones as well.) Perhaps we just get a little better at letting the small irritations go, not get too uptight when we realize we can’t change something, and recognize the importance of joy to our health and well-being. Also, these adjustments can make it easier for our friends and acquaintances to be around us. And since ‘community’ positively influences health and longevity, it’s in our best interest to keep that a consistent part of our lives. At least that’s how I look at it.

            I remember when the kids were little, ages ago. When they were fussy, I’d usually take them outside. That alone often turned things around. Fresh air (cold, hot, or whatever) and being outside where one can take in a more expansive view, rather than inside air and inside stuff, can help to set things right. Outside it’s easier to recognize a bigger picture and hints that it’s not “all about me”. I love the simplicity of this.

            As parents, I think it’s important to let kids get bored. Not be so quick to entertain them with some diversion or treat. Give them the time and space to figure out how to entertain themselves. It’s a valuable lifetime skill that can contribute to a creative, intelligent, fulfilled lifestyle. Let’s not rob the next generation of this.   

For the majority of us, productivity seems to play a huge part in happiness. We sure act like it does. Heavenly horrors if we come across as not busy. It’s as if we feel so much more important when we, at least, don’t admit to having much free time. When, in fact, each of us has the same amount of time each day. It’s up to us as to how we fashion our time, or maybe just change our relationship to it. There are seasons for just about everything. Perhaps we could break down each day into seasons, so to speak. A time to be born (morning), and a time to die (night)… And a time to every purpose under heaven. Again, as I probably say far too often: it’s all about balance.

            I also know that I am responsible for my own happiness. No one else can make that happen for me. It really is a moment-to-moment choice that I have to keep making. And sometimes it’s hard, and occasionally it’s easier. But it is still ultimately a decision.

            So, along with you, I embrace my lot in life and try to make the most of it. When I’m having a particularly tough time capturing contentment then I’ll take a wander outside, take a deep breath and expand my field of view, and remind myself that it’s not all about me.

Chi Varnado has published six books including fiction, nonfiction and children’s books. They are available on www.amazon.com. Her collection of essays, Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com or www.dancecentrepresents.com. 

          One of my absolute favorite things to do is traipsing around the natural world—away from man-made scenery and noise. It’s right up there at the top of my list. With that freshly oxygenated air, which the surrounding greenery has just converted from carbon dioxide, I can fill my thirsty lungs. My dog and other friends also enjoy it—that’s probably partly why they are my friends.

            As we can all feel stressed and overwhelmed during the frantic holiday season, it can be especially important to take time away from the usual traditions (family, shopping, parties…) and immerse ourselves in nature—both alone and with supportive friends. Sometimes we don’t even realize we need it until we are “out there”. And when I do this, my legs will often just stop, as if rooted in place. It’s like a signal to slow down, take a breath, and relax my focus.

            Our community is lucky to have such a multitude of hiking trails right here in the greater Ramona valley and beyond. And plenty of wineries where we can linger on their patios and gaze out at the vineyards and surrounding mountains, while listening to local musicians sing their unique homegrown songs. What a blessing to live here.

            Sometimes it’s all I can do to wait for enough daylight to fill the sky before heading out for a run with my dog. Here in the canyon she can tag along and race through the bushes to her heart’s content. The rabbits, squirrels, and sometimes deer, give her a run for the money, but soon enough she’s after the next little adventure. It must be wonderful to live in the moment. I could use some lessons from her in that regard. Once a week I choose to run solo—out the dirt road and up the mountain.

            Several of my friends like to hike. It almost doesn’t matter where we walk, as long as we walk: the Grasslands, Barnett Ranch, lower Mussey Grade, the meadow on top of our mountain… Being together fuels each one of us. Sometimes it’s just a few, but occasionally we’re a bigger group (never that large).

            It’s hard to know if my love for the outdoors stems from being raised in a rural environment or if it’s genetically embedded in my DNA, or something else entirely. But whatever—I’m grateful for it. I can’t imagine anything better. That’s why when my sister proposed a hiking tour of the Amalfi coast while staying at an agriturismo, we were tempted— and then glad we joined in. It was much more to our liking than a cruise or a guided city tour could ever be.

            But I think a balance is important. Yes, we sometimes had to go through big, busy cities in order to go from an airport or train station to our destination. And when we reached the countryside I’d feel myself unclench, then appreciate it all the more. It can be the same with the holidays. I’m more apt to enjoy both the festive busyness as well as my time alone, as long as I keep a realistic balance.

            Being a volunteer County Parks ranger for the last few decades has been a good fit for me to give back to the community. Whether leading hikes or just being an extra set of eyes on the amazing swaths of public land set aside for us to enjoy in sustainable and responsible ways, it allows me to stay in touch with the bigger picture. There is no more important work than for us to help keep our mother earth healthy and thriving, since we all depend on her for our very lives.

            We clear trails on our own property so that we and our guests can enjoy wandering around in this natural environment. For many years I’ve invited friends to come gather in the yard or down in the creekbed area, in the shade or sunshine—wherever the season dictates, providing a space for conversations of anything that comes to mind. This seems to serve varying purposes for us, such as being a social circle or talk therapy group or simply a place to catch up with each other. Or learn new things.

            I hope to keep learning new things as I get older. One workshop I attended with other rangers was “Tracking”. We learned how to use a flashlight in the daylight to highlight a bobcat footprint. You shine it low and at an angle to create shadows. A friend and I joined an acorn flour-making seminar up at Volcan Mountain Wilderness Preserve where we picked, ground, leached, and baked acorns into cookies. This year, the grandkids helped us pick some here in the canyon. We found ourselves leisurely taking the time to find the most suitable trees. The girls, of course, turned it into a contest of who picked the most, but other than that… We’re now drying them in baskets so they’ll be easier to crack and grind into a highly nutritious flour that we can add to some of our own recipes. The long, slow process is not only difficult for the kids to understand, it can be hard for us too. Other natural foods we’ve made use of here are elderberries (for tinctures and drying), olives (brining), miner’s lettuce, curly dock, mustard… So much bounty… So little time.

            Now, coming up on our calendar is a hike to Eagle Rock. I used to ride my horse out there, but it will be a new hike for me. It’s a good feeling to have fun things like this to look forward to. Maybe I’ll see you out there. Or—where’s your next adventure?

Chi Varnado has published six books including fiction, nonfiction and children’s books. They are available on www.amazon.com. Her collection of essays, Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com or www.dancecentrepresents.com.