Deadlines and commitments/What to leave in, what to leave out. Bob Seger’s crooning echoes melodically in my mind—and heart. As a writer, these words can be taken quite literally. Plenty of deadlines—articles due, pages to be written, edits… Some are self-imposed, like deciding to finish an essay before getting to go outside. When editing our work, we usually end up slashing more than we add. “Kill your darlings,” as the experts say. There’s not much point in being attached to what we’ve written—it could easily get cut.

            In aging, we find that we can’t do some of the things we once did. I certainly can’t dance like I used to. Sad, but true. Nor do I run as fast, or get as much done. I think many of us look back and wonder, how on earth did I do all that? Sometimes it’s medically advisable to eat differently and/or exercise. We might choose to continue treating the grandchildren, but not partake ourselves. Instead of going out to lunch perhaps we’ll take a walk, or at least walk afterwards. Or not swim laps, but run-in-place in the water…

            The final deadline for us all is the end of life. The trouble is—we don’t know when that will be. We can make all the assumptions we want, but that doesn’t change anything. What things do you want to do while you’re still able? What would you like to say to someone before your ultimate deadline? Or theirs? I think these questions are worth pondering. And more importantly, to follow through before it’s too late. I suppose in this train of thought, bucket list items should be considered as well. But also important is getting our affairs in order: Trusts, Wills, Powers of Attorney and Healthcare Directives.

            Kent and I reworked our Trusts which took several weeks. This process took a lot of planning, communicating, and excruciating reading and rereading all the legal jargon, hoping that what it actually said was what we wanted it to say. Once we signed on the dotted lines, we invited the kids up. We walked them through the documents so hopefully there won’t be any surprises when the time comes. We at least tried to do our due diligence about what to leave in and what to leave out.  

            Then there is what the Swedish refer to as ‘Death Cleaning’. This simply means to clean up our act before we’re gone. Go through our stuff now (even in our 30’s and 40’s) and organize what’s worth keeping, and what’s not. We really ought to try to be realistic about this because our kids may very well not want any of it. Let’s give them the gift of less stuff for them to weed through and toss out. It is our stuff, after all. Our things don’t have the same meaning to others as they do to us. This is just the simple fact of the matter. When we do get rid of stuff, let’s do it responsibly and not just add it to the landfill. We can donate, have yard sales, give to friends items that they sincerely desire, gift books to libraries to sell… Get creative. Who knows, it might even be fun.

            I’ve been trying, in my own small way, to proceed with death cleaning. I really don’t know if I’ll manage to finish before my deadline though. I may only get to one shelf in a cupboard at a time, but at least it’s something. And I may not get around to the next drawer for a couple of weeks. However, even these small accomplishments feel good—and sometimes a little bit fun.

            And now—Bucket List. Ever since I was a kid I’ve wanted to go to Australia. I think it was because I perceived it to be rural and wide open. If I ever go, I’d like to visit New Zealand as well. But it’s not as much of a burning desire as it once was, and much more expensive now. Even so, it probably deserves some thought. My love of rural areas is very real and there are many places to experience that. More food for thought. So, how about you? What’s on your bucket list? What will you leave in—and what will you leave out?

Chi Varnado has published six books including fiction, nonfiction and children’s books. They are available on www.amazon.com. Her collection of essays, Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com or www.dancecentrepresents.com.

She is available to adults and children for fun tutoring in writing.

           Having the freedom to write about practically anything I want to is such a gift. It allows me the time and space to contemplate and focus on what is really important and ponder how it relates to what is going on in our day-to-day lives. Exploring the interrelatedness of all things leads to many questions and perhaps a few answers. Through this process I’ve become aware that there are no absolutes, not really. Everything is shades of gray—with some bright spots of color here and there.

            Benjamin Franklin stated, “In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” In our current reality this seems to hold true. However, the lens with which we view the world varies, from person to person as well as from the choices we make for how we look at any given thing. And that can be up to us.

            I’ll start with taxes. Most of us pay them over and over and over again. Others don’t, either by opting out of society all together, or are so poor that it’s not required, or are so wealthy that they can harness enough legal (or illegal) power to rise above the system, but I’m not here to talk about taxes.

            Then there’s death—with its many faces. Right now we are facing the death of summer, the end of our children’s vacation as they go back to school. Many look forward to it, but I certainly did not. I felt like a part of me was dying when school started again in the fall. Summer always had the feeling that time stopped, providing the space where endless opportunities could be revealed.

            Expiration dates. Credit cards, coupons, sales events… These things also die. As does our interest in the items we purchased with them. But that leads to another story.

            The end of our life here on earth can feel like the ultimate kind of death. It’s heart-wrenching for those of us left behind when a loved one departs. And obviously scary, sad and confusing for the one checking out.

            I visited my dear cousin who’s on hospice now. She’s still communicative, caring and friendly. She hides a lot of her anguish and anxiety, but it still comes through. Of course, tears come and go every day, and she wrestles with this. In spite of being comforted by her religion, she’s fearful, and rightfully so.

            There can also be a kind of death of ideas, or assumptions, that no longer prove to be true. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we would each own up to the possibility of being wrong at the first inkling of doubt? Or maybe even prior to that—since it’s all shades of gray anyway. Just a thought.

            With the unwavering heat this summer, every thing and every one seems ready to snap. That’s what happened last night when a huge eucalyptus limb fell across our driveway, barely missing my car. Last week, a tree trimmer, commissioned by SDG&E, called and told me they needed to trim nine oak trees on our property. I explained how they had already done the work three months ago. After supposedly checking with his supervisor, he said that because it’s on the work order he needed to do it. I’d learned from a tree specialist that summer is the worst time to do this, so I responded.

“These old oaks are thoroughly stressed with the heat and lack of moisture. Cutting now would further stress them. Feel free to call back after it cools down and we get some rain.”

Hopefully he’ll look back over the records and find that the work was already taken care of. Someone has to protect our beautiful ancient oaks. I don’t want their death on my hands.

Dinosaurs experienced a massive death—extinction. Many species have followed suit and many more are on the endangered list. Some of these deaths are within our ability to prevent. Protecting them protects us. Life comes full circle. After all, everything is interrelated.          

Chi Varnado has published six books including fiction, nonfiction and children’s books. They are available on www.amazon.com. Her collection of essays, Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com or www.dancecentrepresents.com.

She is available to adults and children for fun tutoring in writing.

           Blustery winds, rugged terrain, exquisite turquoise beaches, and profusions of wildflowers can greet one at every turn along the Cornish Salt Path, or Coast Path as it is known locally. Up, up and away, and then down, down and onward, we trudged during the heatwave hovering over Western Europe this summer. When Kent expressed strong interest in taking a week of courses at the University of Cambridge, I thought about tagging on a hiking adventure, i.e., the Salt Path. My sister joined us, agreeing that this could be another grand adventure for the three of us.

            Cornwall boasts beautiful, unique scenery even in July. We hiked and hiked and hiked, usually eight or nine miles a day. And yes, there were blisters and bandades and tired legs. But whenever we passed other hikers, which wasn’t that often, they would say, “Hello,” in that melodic, sing-song British accent. Always polite.

            Here in the backcountry of San Diego County, we also have a plethora of absolutely amazing hiking trails. Of course, here during the summer months, it’s usually more enjoyable to start out very early in the morning and head back before the heat of the day sets in. We just have to be creative. And walking along is a great way to see and experience the natural environment of a place. It allows us to slow down and be in the moment.

            After a week it was on to Cambridge. While Kent attended lectures, Bo and I hiked to Grantchester, punted along the River Cam through the university, and meandered in the surrounding meadows, watching swans with their cygnets, blue herons, geese and ducks float by in the river. It really was quite idyllic.

            When I visit a new place I don’t usually read or watch movies because that would color the way I experience it. I want to feel its true essence as much as possible. One of the takeaways from there is how old the buildings are. Parts of the University of Cambridge were built as early as 1200 AD! We just don’t have anything like that here. Those walls have stood the test of time. Ours really don’t. And now I’m afraid that we’re all heading in the opposite direction.

It seems that nowadays we’re not happy with our own abodes for long. Time to remodel or add on or get the latest furniture… In the past large families existed fine with only one bathroom. Furniture was not replaced until it was worn out beyond repair. I was even taught to darn socks and I still do it if they are a nice pair and otherwise still serve their purpose. At least thrift stores, yard sales and hand-me-downs still exist and allow us to recycle and reuse. This mentality that we must have new is destroying our precious resources. I find a certain creativity in making do with less. I even get excited by interesting, out of the mainstream choices. But that’s just me, I suppose.

When a new business comes into town, wouldn’t it be better to occupy an already existing structure instead of building something new? At least the old K-Mart is coming back to life. Out with the old and in with the new? No. How about we give new life to the old?

Cell phones are manufactured to have a limited shelf life. I don’t consider my phone, an iPhone X, to be that old. But several apps no longer function and can’t be updated because of the software involved. Now this is a crime, as far as I’m concerned! I’m doing my best to not take part in this unsustainable behavior. Perhaps if enough of us take the initiative and refuse to buy in, then we can turn this insane practice around. Wouldn’t it be better for our planet Earth if things were built to last, and not require constant updating or buying new?

Perhaps it’s time to head back to the trail. Whether we’re traversing along ancient footpaths or forging new routes, just getting out there can help us to live better. And by this I simply mean to embrace the natural environment and shake off some of the modern contraptions, at least from time to time. I’ll try to remember those Cornish manners and give you a polite “Hello” when our paths cross.

Chi Varnado has published six books including fiction, nonfiction and children’s books. They are available on www.amazon.com. Her collection of essays, Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com or www.dancecentrepresents.com.

She is available to adults and children for fun tutoring in writing.