QUAIL MUTTERINGS #75.  The Silence Within (January 2023)

          Our little neck of the woods has finally gotten that much needed rain. But now, the flood gates have opened wide with no let-up in sight. Our grasslands are lush and green now. But with more major storms the land will erode, but the lakes will fill up. There is beauty in both.

          I’ve been pondering the notion that instead of just making a New Year’s resolution, a better idea might be to continually make them—by going within ourselves and touching base with our own hearts. For me, this seems to help with my effort to remain open-minded about things. EVERYTHING. You know that country song line, “You’ve got to stand for something or you’ll fall for anything,”? It states the opposite of having an open mind and the antithesis of what I think we all need right now. The more entrenched we are in anything, the less we are able to move around and be free. This includes our minds. It feels to me like it’s time to get out of the quicksand because we are all sinking fast.

Quail-Mutterings-75-The-Silence-Within

            It could be in all of our best interests to break free of our habit of needing constant input (noise). The more time we spend plugged in, the less comfortable we are without it. Perhaps it’s a little like quitting smoking, but just as important. I’m referring to social media, news, podcasts—anything which pulls us into thinking that our stance on something is completely correct and justified and that the other or opposite is completely wrong. There can be elements of both, and everything in between, in any viewpoint. We can lose sight of this sometimes when we don’t pause to reflect and listen to our own silence within—on a regular basis.

            Steering clear of verbal excess no matter the topic, either listening or voicing, might be a start. As we each face our own challenges, be it health, financial, familial, or relationships—may we try to recognize what challenges others might be facing as well.   

            As I take the time to wander through the canyon, pausing often to simply stand and stare, my soul is restored. This chaparral bathing, as I call it, similar to the term forest bathing, resets my mind and body. No earbuds or headsets or smart watch or Fitbit or any other manmade device to distract me from what is here and now. After all, isn’t that all any of us really have? It’s the real deal and I believe it’s worth showing up for.

            Of course, it can be difficult to remain present and it takes more than a bit of persistence to remember to pay attention to what’s right in front of us, right now, instead of allowing the mind to highjack these moments with its own preoccupations. Repeatedly I have to shake my head to clear the clutter in my mind before I miss something far more valuable than those circular tracks playing nonstop in my brain. Sound familiar?

            How about when our kid, grandchild or student wants to show us something? We may look up from our phone to glance at it and then mutter how nice it is. Did we really look at it? Was our response authentic or automatic? I think we know the answer to this and have all been there before. How much we all must miss with our unconscious behavior.

            Our kids and grandchildren came and spent New Year’s Eve with us, the second in a row. When the youngest one, three-year-old Zoe, needed something more than board games to interest her, I gave her some paper and a box of crayons so she could entertain herself at the table with us. That did the trick and we continued our festivities with everyone having a good time. The next morning, we all made breakfast together and enjoyed the fire in the woodburning stove in the living room. When it came time for them to leave, I snagged Zoe’s artwork from the previous night and went to hand it to them to take home. Of course, they already had a mountain of such scribbles at home and suggested that I keep it, so I set it aside. You see, I also have a plethora of such papers so I didn’t think much about it until I was tidying up later.

            Zoe’s self-portrait sat on the old sewing machine cabinet in the kitchen for days before I decided that more things needed to be put away. It was at this juncture that I picked it up and finally really looked at it. I couldn’t just stick it in the folder with the other pretty pictures. I realized that this piece of art was truly remarkable. At least to me it was. So, I put it on the refrigerator with magnets. Here, I can take notice of it every day, if I’m paying attention. This also helps to remind me to make an effort to remain more present and attentive to what’s here and now. Hopefully this way, I will miss out on fewer precious moments. Happy New Year, everyone!   

   

Chi Varnado has six published books. The Old House in the Country, women’s fiction; and three YA novels in The Dance Centre Presents series. Her memoir, A CANYON TRILOGY: Life Before, During and After the Cedar Fire, and her children’s book, The Tale of Broken Tail, are also available on www.amazon.com. Her collection of essays, Quail Mutterings, can be found on www.chivarnado.com or www.dancecentrepresents.com.